So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize