well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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