I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
