Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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