Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
