): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
