a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We had sex on a dog bed..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
