Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
