this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
