we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
