i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
