can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
