he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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