he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
either way he was missing a nipple.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
