READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
