The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
