the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
