Where are you?
In a non slutty way
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
