Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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