Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
