the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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