I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize