My Higher Power is John Stamos
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
