**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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