Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
