just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
