I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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