hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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