dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
