I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
