You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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