I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
