I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
