You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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