is your mom at the bar?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
