Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
