My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
