I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
