So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
