She is in my trunk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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