I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
