You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
