she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
