A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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