Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
