sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize