pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
