tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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