just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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