By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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