i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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