i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
