So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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