we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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