apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
