U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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