he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
