As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
