Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
