Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
