Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
