your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
