When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize