I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
