That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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