i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
