Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
