I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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