awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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