I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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