well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
