i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
