talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
