you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
